Joey Bada$$ - Survivors Guilt

[Intro: Capital STEEZ & Joey Bada$$]

I thought I was goin' crazy, you know?

나는 내가 미친 건 줄 알았어, 응?

And like, I realize that I wasn't the one that was crazy

그러다가, 미친 건 내가 아니라는 걸 깨달았지

I realized that it's the system that was built against me, you know?

그냥 이 시스템이 내게 안 맞게 만들어졌던 거지, 뭔 말인지 알아?

And like, I'm not supposed to be talkin' about this

물론, 이런 얘기를 하면 어떨지 모르겠는데

And that's the corruption of it, because like, me just saying it's, it's absurd

내가 말하는 것도 뭔가 이상한 거 알아, 하지만

And I want people to open up their eyes and realize that I'm not wrong, you know?

사람들이 두 눈을 뜨고 내가 틀리지 않았단 걸 알길 바라

I-I'm, I'm just a openminded individual, and people should be more openminded

난 그저 열린 생각을 하는 사람일 뿐이라고, 다른 사람들도 그래야 하고

If-If we tryna build up our lives to have material things

우리가 물질적인 것만 좇으면서 사는데도

And those don't satisfy our needs, what are we living for?

단 한 번도 가진 것에 만족한 적 없다면, 뭘 위해 사는 거겠어?

Right, right, come on (Alright)

그래, 그래, 가보자

[Chorus: Joey Bada$$]

This onе is for you, uh-ooh

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh-ooh

This one is for you, uh (Is for you, for you, for you)

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh

This one is for you, uh-ooh

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh-ooh

This one is for you, uh (Is for you, for you, for you)

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh

[Verse 1: Joey Bada$$]

Steezy told mе, "Get 'em," so I got 'em (Got 'em)

Steezy가 내게 한 말, “가서 쥐어”, 그래서 쥐었네

Now my nigga gone, he will never be forgotten (Never)

지금은 떠났어도, 절대 잊히지 않을 내 녀석

Ever since he left, I just been strugglin' without him (Uh-huh)

놈이 떠난 뒤엔, 녀석 없이 고된 삶을 보냈어

'Cause I remember linkin' after school and we'd be plottin' (Plottin')

여전히 기억해, 방과 후에 뭉쳐서 미래 계획을 짰지

Talk about our problems and what we do about 'em (Yeah)

지금 우리의 문제, 그리고 그것들에 대한 해결책

Journalin' and jottin', we ain't know the world was watchin' (Facts)

쓰고 또 썼지만, 세상이 우릴 보고 있었단 건 몰랐지

We was just two kids tryna make it out the bottom (Uh-huh)

우린 그저, 밑바닥에서 해내고자 했던 두 녀석

Now I'm rich and rotten, everyday I think about him, it's survivor's guilt

이제 난 돈 많은 싸가지, 그를 생각할 때마다 생존자의 죄책감이 들지

Wishin' I coulda stopped him, let alone just know how he feel

놈을 막을 수 있었다면, 적어도 심정을 이해했다면 어땠을지

Lyrically couldn't top him, he was the nigga with the belt (Uh-huh)

나보다 가사도 잘 썼었지, 챔피언은 바로 그 녀석이었는데

Yeah, and that's real rap

그래, 진짜 랩다운 랩이었는데

I couldn't do this shit without him, and that's just fact

걔 없인 아무것도 안 됐었지, 솔직히 말하면 그래

You see, if you ain't know Steelo then you really don't know me though (No)

막말로, Steelo를 모른다면 나에 대해서도 모르는 거였다고

And that's how I separate all the real from fake people (Yeah)

날 향한 가짜 관심을 걸러내는 기준이기도 했어

Or the real from fake fans (Uh-huh)

진짜 팬들이라면 분명 알았을 것이기에

Who claimin' that they stans (Uh-huh)

아무리 찐팬이라 우기면 뭐해

But they ain't know my mans (No)

내 놈들을 모른다면 가짜였는데

Until the very end, wish he was still here, I swear it feels weird

마지막 그 순간까지 함께했다면 어땠을까, 여전히 기분이 이상해

How people could accuse me for his death

녀석이 죽은 거로, 사람들은 왜 내게 손가락질해?

Sometimes I gotta shed a real tear (Tear)

가끔은 나도 모르게 눈물이 흘러내려

You see, the truth about Steelo, he lacked the mental health (He did)

Steelo에 관한 진실, 녀석은 정신적인 문제를 겪었었네

But try to tell that to people way back in 2012 (I can't)

그 얘기를 훨씬 전인 2012년부터 하려 했던 놈인데

But now that it's a mainstream topic

이제야 모두가 관심 갖는 주제가 됐지

I'm guessin' I can finally open up and talk about it

드디어 이 얘기를 할 수 있는 때가 온 것 같으니

So, yeah, let's talk about it (Yeah)

그러니, 한번 얘기해 봐야지

Come into my mind, I show you where the darkest cloud is

내 머릿속에 들어와, 가장 어두운 먹구름이 어딨는지 보여주지

You ready? I doubt it, but let's go

준비됐어? 아닌 것 같지만, 가보자고

You see, Steelo was my bigger bro (Uh-huh)

알다시피, Steelo는 내 형제나 다름없었고

At a point in time, spiritually, we was in the same boat, but

두 영혼이 가는 방향은 분명 같았지, 한 배를 탔어, 하지만

I wanted to take it slow

난 천천히 향하고 싶었고

He wanted to take it as fast and deep as he could go, pause

놈은 최대한 빠르게, 그리고 깊게 가고파 했어, 잠깐

Yeah, we had some problems, but what brothers don't? Sure

약간의 마찰이 있던 거지, 근데 어떤 형제가 안 그러겠어? 그럼

Then I caught a little wave and headed back to shore

그러다 난 파도를 맞닥뜨렸고, 다시 해안가로 향했어

And that's when he started drowning

동시에 그는 물에 잠기기 시작했지

And he had no one around him, so, partially, I feel it's my fault (Hey)

그런데도 주변에 친구 한 명 없었다니, 어떻게 보면 내 탓이란 생각도 들어

And that right there is my internal war (Uh-huh)

그 이후로, 내 내면에선 전쟁이 일어나고 말았어

The reason why I got to feel these external flaws

이건 내가 벌어진 상처에 통증을 느끼고 있는 이유이고

The reason why I can't heal this eternal loss

이건 내가 끊임없는 상실감에서 벗어날 수 없는 이유이고

The reason why I gotta feel this survivor's remorse (Shh)

이건 내가 살아남은 뒤 양심의 가책을 느끼는 이유

And here's a message to his fam

그리고, 여기 놈의 가족을 위해 할 말이 있는데

I know y'all got emotional trauma, that, I understand (I understand)

당신들이 트라우마를 겪는 걸 알아, 나도 분명 하해해

But I couldn't fuck with, y'all try to tell the world I wasn't who I am

하지만 세상에 나에 관한 가짜 사실을 퍼뜨리는 것, 그건 용납 못해

When all I ever tried to do was lend a hand (That wasn't cool)

난 그저 손을 내밀려고만 했을 뿐인데

And give the fans the thing that they demand the most

또, 팬들이 가장 필요로 하는 것을 주려 했을 뿐인걸

King Capital, the fucking G.O.A.T., word

King Capital, ㅆ발롬의 역대 최고, 정말로

I'm just tryna get my nigga heard

내 녀석이 하늘에서 듣길 빌어

Give him what he deserves

그에게 받아 마땅한 것들을 줘

[Chorus: Joey Bada$$]

This onе is for you, uh-ooh

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh-ooh

This one is for you, uh (Is for you, for you, for you)

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh

This one is for you, uh-ooh

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh-ooh

This one is for you, uh (Is for you, for you, for you)

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh

[Verse 2: Joey Bada$$]

Yeah, and R.I.P. my cousin Junior B (R.I.P.)

그래, 또 내 사촌 Junior B도 편히 쉬길

Y'all ain't know too much about him, so it's up to me (It's up to me)

너희는 녀석에 대해 잘 모르겠지, 그러니 내게 달렸지

To share his legacy with the world

녀석의 유산을 세상에 퍼뜨리는 것 말야

It kills me to think he'll never meet my baby girl (Shh)

놈이 내 딸아이를 못 만나볼 거라는 사실이 너무 슬퍼

And when I lost Jun', that hurt me in the worst way (Worst way)

그를 잃었을 땐, 어느 때보다도 마음이 아팠네

He even died two days before his birthday (His birthday)

심지어 생일도 이틀밖에 안 남았었던 놈인데

Damn, that brings tears to my eyes

젠장, 얘기하려니 또 눈물이 차올라

My nigga really never made it up to twenty-five (Damn)

그놈, 25살이 되기도 전에 그냥 떠나버린 거야

That's why I'm thankin' God every time I open my eyes (Uh-huh)

그러니 나도 신께 감사하는 거야, 아침에 눈뜰 때마다

Add the fact that we alive and we feelin' these vibes (Vibes)

우리가 살아있다는 사실과, 이 지구와 공명한단 것에 대해 말야

'Cause we be fillin' these voids, part of me got destroyed (Facts)

우리가 이 공허를 채우는 동안, 내 일부는 이미 파괴되었거든

When I lost my boys, it's like I lost my voice (Uh-huh)

내 놈들을 잃는 건, 내 목소리를 잃는 아픔과 비슷했어

It took me all of this time just to put it in a song (Song)

이 모든 얘기를 곡 안에 담는 데에도 참 힘이 들었어

Because I'm still dealin' with the fact my niggas is gone (Yeah)

왜냐하면 여전히, 내 놈들이 떠났다는 사실에 눈물을 흘려

Write they names up on the clouds 'cause that's where they belong (Uh-huh)

구름에 대고 그들의 이름을 써, 거기가 놈들의 새 보금자리라서

As long as I live on, they'll forever be known, this one for you

내 숨이 붙어있는 한, 그들은 영원히 잊히지 않을걸, 이건 널 위한 곡

This one for–, yeah

이건 널-, 그래

[Chorus: Joey Bada$$]

This one is for you, uh-ooh

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh-ooh

This one is for you, uh (Is for you, for you, for you)

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh

This one is for you, uh-ooh

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh-ooh

This one is for you, uh (Is for you, for you, for you)

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh

This one is for you, uh-ooh

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh-ooh

This one is for you, uh (Is for you, for you, for you)

이 곡은 널 위한 곡, uh

[Outro: Ab-Soul]

Yeah, I'm off the—I'm off the DeLéon, neat, DeLé-honest

그래, 나 솔직히 말하면, 지금 데킬라 마시고 취했는데

So I'ma make this quick, you know

그러니까 빠르게 말할게, 알지

Pastor Black Lip back on that shit

옛날에, [Black Lip Pastor] 만들던 때 말야

True story, look, so I'm in New York, my first time

이건 실환데, 그때 뉴욕에 갔었어, 인생 처음으로

One of my first times that I'm, I'm playin' my-my

그때가 한창 초창기에, 내 처음 작업물들 갖고

One of my first albums for the big homie

사람들한테 들어보라고 하고 다니던 때였는데

And he got these kids in there, they just on skateboards

그때 애들을 데리고 온 사람이 있었어, 스케이트보드 타던 놈들인네

I'm like, "Yo, this super cool"

난 막, “야, 얘네 진짜 맘에 든다”

This, this guy got the kids out here, you know

나랑 만난 사람이 얘네들을 키워주려 한 거지

Keepin' the kids off of the streets, right?

길거리 신세에서 멈추지 말라고 말야, 알지?

So, fast forward a year later, I go back to New York

그러다가 몇 년이 훌쩍 지나서, 뉴욕에 다시 갔는데

And then I meet this kid, he's like, "Yeah, man

그 애를 다시 만났어, 근데 걔가 그래, “저기요”

I don't know if you remember me, me and my homies, the Pro Era"

“저를 기억하실지 모르겠는데, 저랑 제 친구들이에요, Pro Era”

Crazy, I was like, "Oh, yeah, wha-what's your name?"

이게 뭐야, 난 그랬지, “오, 그래, 이름이 뭐였지?”

He said, "Capital STEEZ", I said, "Oh, okay, fosho"

“Capital STEEZ요” “오, 그래, 맞다”

Fast forward, my boy Doe called me, Doe Burger! Ahaha

또 훌쩍 지나서, 내 친구 Doe가 전화했어, Doe Burger 있잖아!

That nigga called me and say, "Yo, you heard these kids

전화해서 막 이러는 거야, “야, 얘네 들어봤어?”

The Pro Era? Joey Bada$$?"

“Pro Era, Joey Bada$$?”

I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, I met the kid Capital STEEZ, they crazy"

난 그랬지, “그럼, Capital STEEZ란 애도 만나봤어, 걔네 쩔든데”

Fast forward another year or so, I'm on tour with Joey

또 몇 년이 지나서, 난 Joey랑 투어를 돌게 됐지

We been 47 ever since, man

그때부터 쭉 찐친이다 이 말이야

We got that shit tatted on us, man, for life, man

심지어 같이 타투까지 했잖아, 평생 관계란 거야

Tryin' to show the move, man, you know?

같이 어떻게 움직여야 하는지 보여줬다고, 알아?

Everything come back around full circle, you know what I mean?

결국엔 전부 제 자리로 돌아오는 거야, 뭔 말인지 알지?