VIC MENSA – 2HONEST

가사 해석은 정말 오랜만이네요. 이전에 가사해석한 것이지만 최근에 나온 앨범을 축하하는 기념으로 올려봅니다. 

 

읽기 전에 이 가사가 어떤 고민을 통해서 나온 것인지 설명하고 싶네요 

 

vic mensa는 한 때 가망이 있는 신인으로 락네이션의 전폭적인 지지를 받아 데뷔 앨범을 냈었죠. 

 

하지만 꽤나 상업적이고 그닥 좋지 못한 앨범을 내면서 대중의 관심도 매우 빠르게 사라졌습니다. 

 

결론으로 이 노래는 자신의 이미지를 만든 중간자들과 실패로 인해 빠르게 사라진 대중의 관심으로 공허해진 Vic Mensa의 고민을 전하는 가사입니다. 

 

 

[Intro: Mekke'l Carter & Vic Mensa]

Loneliness speaks through my smile

외로움이 내 미소를 통해 말한다네

It sings the darkest lullaby

그게 가장 암울한 자장가같은 거야

La, la-la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la

I called a 51-50 on myself

난 나 스스로 51-50을 걸어

That's how you know I need help

그게 네가 내가 도움이 필요한 것을 알게 하는 방법이야

I called a 51-50 on myself

난 나 스스로 51-50을 걸어

That's how you know I need help

그게 네가 내가 도움이 필요한 것을 알게 하는 방법이야

 

[Verse 1: Vic Mensa]

Tears of a fallen soldier, rollin' down my face

쓰러진 군인의 눈물, 그게 내 얼굴에 흐르는 것

One hand stickin' out of my grave

한 손이 내 무덤에 손을 대

The whole world left me for dead, Michael Jackson's estate

전세계가 날 죽은이 취급을 해, 마이클 젝슨의 재산

But I'm too high, I never land

하지만, 난 꽤나 높아, 절대 착률할 일 없지

A river that knows its source could never run dry

자신의 원천을 아는 하나의 강은 절대 마를 수 없는 법이야 

That's why I had to cut out the middle man

그게 내가 중간자들을 때어낸 이유야

Hate from all directions assassinatin' my character

내 케릭터를 죽여놓은 모든 감독들을 향한 증오 

I felt like Malcom X in J. Edgar Hoover's America

마치 J. Edgar Hoover의 미국의 말콤 엑스가 된 것 같아.

I said the truth and I paid for it, I paid for it

난 진실을 이야기 하고, 값을 치뤄야 했지, 난 값을 치뤘어

I got on my knees and criеd to the Lord, I prayed for it

난 내 무릎 꿇고 신께 울었어, 난 기도드렸다고 

I had bounties on my hеad when my sister was in my home

난 내 머리 위에 현상금이 걸렸어. 내 자매가 집에 왔을 때 

Sleepless nights by the chrome, trigger finger next to my dome

크롬도금에 의한 불면, 내 머리 옆의 손아귀의 방아쇠

Contemplatin' self-destruction, equatin' myself to nothin'

자기파괴를 고민해, 나를 “무”를 동등하게 여기고 

Fixated on my regression, I felt like Benjamin Button

내 후회에 집착해, 내가 벤자민 버튼이 된 것 같아. 

I collapsed in my depression, I just couldn't write for nothin'

난 내 우울증에 무너져, 그냥 아무것도 쓸 수 없었어 

When I stared at my reflection, all that I felt was disgusted

내가 거울을 볼 땐, 그저 헛구역질이 날 뿐이야 

My confidence evaporated, less than a man, I was emasculated

내 자신감은 증발되어, 남자가 아닌, 거세된 거야 

I turned to violence to be validated

난 폭력을 정당하게 돌아봤어

Violated probation again and again

모욕적인 자기 감금, 계속해서 이뤄져

My kin and my friends like, "What the fuck is up with you, fam?

내 친척과 친구는 마치 “시발 뭔 일 있는거야?”

Don't you understand? Niggas wanna fuck with you, fam

이해가 안되? 애들이 너와 친해지고 싶잖아

But you keep fuckin' yourself and that fucks with your fans”

그래도 넌 그냥 니 혼자 지랄하고 팬들을 위해 살잖아 

 

[Chorus: SAINt JHN & Mekke'l Carter ]

Pardon me, my nigga, I believed the lie, I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)

죄송합니다, 내 새끼야, 난 거짓을 믿으며 살아, 그것을 진실된다고 믿어 

The pain behind your eyes tells me that that's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)

네 눈에 비친 고통이 내게 이건 네가 바란게 아니었다고 말해 

And it's hard to explain to the people standin' still while you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)

네가 열심히 달리는 동안 멀뚱히 바라보는 사람들에게 설명하기 어렵지 

I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin'

난 완전한 야만으로부터 벗어나는 중이야. 내가 그렇게 될 걸 알지만

 

[Post-Chorus: Vic Mensa & Mekke'l Carter]

I called a 51-50 on myself

난 나 스스로 51-50을 걸어

That's how you know I need help

그게 네가 내가 도움이 필요한 것을 알게 하는 방법이야

I called a 51-50 on myself

난 나 스스로 51-50을 걸어

That's how you know I need help

그게 네가 내가 도움이 필요한 것을 알게 하는 방법이야

 

[Verse 2: Vic Mensa]

Do you know what the fuck it feels like to wake up every day in distress?

네가 매일 짜증과 함께 일어나는 것이 얼마나 좆같은 지 알기나해? 

Pissed off at yourself, neglect, so you just lay in your mess

자신에게 싫증이나고, 허송세월하며, 네 모든 문제들을 그냥 묻어두는 거

And people depend on you, got so much shit on your chest

그리고 사람들이 네게 의지라지, 네 어께에 걸린 부담이 너무나 많아

That your train of thought can't seem to find a way to express

네 생각의 열차는 도저히 멈출 역이 없는 듯 해 

I find a notebook in my parents' crib from when I was five

난 내가 다섯 살일 때 부모님 집의 공책을 보게 되었어

I went inside it said "I hate myself, I wanna die," I cried

그 안을 들여다 보고 그 안엔 “난 내가 싫어, 그냥 죽고싶어” 난 울어야만 했어

I couldn't even fathom a child feeling so lonely

너무나도 외로웠던 한 아이를 난 그 깊이를 가늠할 수 조차 없었어 

So next time a nigga tell you 'bout Vic, say they don't know me

그러니 다음엔 한 자식이 네게 Vic에 관해, 그들은 날 모른다고 하겠지

I need to be loved, I need to be loved

난 사랑이 필요해, 난 사랑 받아야만 해 

I needed the drugs 'cause I couldn't do it

난 마약이 필요했어 왜냐’ 난 할 수 없었으니

I couldn't do it, I was goin' through it

도저히 할 수 없어, 난 겪어야만 했어

Growin' up, I was a product of my biracial confusion

자라면서, 나는 백인과 흑인의 부산물이었어

Neither Black nor White, I guess that made me translucent

흑인이건 백인이건, 난 그게 날 순수하게 했다고 생각해

I crushed everything I touched

내가 만지는 것들을 모두 부셔버렸지 

I fucked every single slut, I couldn't bust

난 모든 여자들을 따먹었어, 터트릴 수 없었네

It was a knot in my stomach

내 몸속에 풀리지 않은 매듭이 져있었어

I plummet into my dungeon

난 내 던전 안으로 던져

Down in the depths of my darkness

나의 깊은 어둠 아래에 말이야 

I'm steppin' over my carcass

난 내 자신의 시체를 밟고 넘어가 

I'm comin' out of my hatred

난 내 증오를 딪고 나아가 

Tired of my heart bein' vacant

내 마음이 공허해지는 것에 지쳐서

I made a promise, won't break it

난 약속했어, 절대 부서지지 않으리라 

I told my mama, "We'll make it"

난 어머니에게 말했어, “우리가 해냈어!”

I told my gang, "We gon' make it"

내 친구들에게도 말했지, “우리가 해냈어”

They won't give it to us, we'll take it

그들은 우리에게 그냥 주지 않을거야, 우리가 가져가야만 해 

One thing that is true is my greatness

하나 진실된 것이 있다면, 그건 내 위다함이야 

Promise I won't doubt, I'll believe it

약속해 내가 의심하지 않으리라고, 난 믿고야 말겠어

I'm exercisin' my demons, for the last time

난 내 악마와 운동해, 그 마지막으로

 

[Chorus: SAINt JHN & Mekke'l Carter]

Pardon me, my nigga, I believed the lie, I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)

The pain behind your eyes tells me that that's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)

And it's hard to explain to the people standin' still while you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)

I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin'

 

[Outro: SAINt JHN]

But pardon me, my nigga, isn't this the life you said that you wanted?

You know the car's movin' fast, what a view, and the women are stunnin'

And it's hard when you're comin' from the bottom, tryin' not to become it

So I'm runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin'

Comin', yeah